Expressions of gratitude
2 Kgs 5:14-17; Ps 98:1, 2-3, 3-4; 2 Tim 2:8-13; Lk 17:11-19
When I was a child and received a long-anticipated gift, like the latest and greatest toy of the year, my joy was spontaneous. Mom never had to tell me: “John, remember that this is the toy you wanted. Don’t forget to enjoy that toy!” But she did often tell me: “What do you say? Remember to say thank you!”
Gratitude is a curious thing. We generally have to be taught to acquire it and express it. Perhaps this is because gratitude is an inherently relational attitude, and it takes time to realize that other people might derive joy from knowing that we are pleased with their gift or desire to have a more meaningful relationship with us.
Because it’s relational, gratitude can also be risky. When we receive something from another, we cannot always be sure of their motives. How much can we assume about their desire to connect with us? Were they just fulfilling an obligation? If we express our gratitude too effusively or too sparingly, will our intentions be misunderstood?
Consider the Samaritan leper in today’s Gospel. What he essentially hears is: “Did only this foreigner return to give thanks?” I wouldn’t blame him if he had second thoughts about expressing his gratitude in the future.
Now consider the strange action of Naaman in our first reading. After he is healed from his leprosy, he returns to Elisha and attempts to express his gratitude with a gift. But Elisha refuses to accept it, no matter how much Naaman insists.
As we noted, gratitude can be a risky proposition. Faced with Elisha’s rebuttal, Naaman then asks for two large loads of dirt, so that he might carry them with him and offer sacrifice to the God of Israel, on the soil of Israel.
This request is not so odd as it might seem at first sight. In the time of the prophet Elisha, it was believed that the god of a people was geographically linked to the land they inhabited. Thus, the God of Israel was to be worshipped within Israel only. By taking some of Israel’s land with him, Naaman is able to sacrifice to the Lord wherever he travels, both within and without Israel. Such a sacrifice is his way of expressing gratitude to God.
Even though Elisha refused his gift, Naaman is confident that the God of Israel will not reject his sacrifice. When faced with Elisha’s refusal to accept his gift, Naaman resorts to literally “carrying” his gratitude with him on his travels. He is no longer bound by others’ decisions to accept or reject his gratitude to God, he is free to do so whenever and wherever he likes.
This leads to the question: How well do we “carry” our own gratitude? When we carry something, or hold onto it, we retain some agency with respect to it, and it can provide a stabilizing role in our life. Ironically, we generally reserve the word “carry” not for gratitude but rather for resentment or grudges: “He carries, or holds, a grudge.”
Holding a grudge against another person who has hurt us is a way of keeping them in their place. We can avoid the hard, and often humbling, work of reconciliation if we decide that they are beyond redemption and will always be our enemy.
Gratitude, conversely, can be much more fleeting. I am often chagrined to reflect on how quickly I forget a generous act done for me, as compared to my doggedly clinging to a slight affront that may have happened days, even years, ago. Holding onto gratitude can bring a life-giving stability rather than the toxic control of resentment.
So look for opportunities to carry your gratitude. That might mean literally carrying some artifact or physical reminder (e.g., the picture on your phone’s background screen) of the thing or person for which you are grateful.
Or you might schedule a 10-minute “gratitude break” into your packed daily calendar to spend some time in thought and prayer about the graces you have received from God and the kindnesses of others. By lugging his piles of dirt with him, Naaman never forgot to give thanks for what he had received — and neither should we.